Just a phone call away
by Girlygirl
Summary: My take on Jason's POV when Emily tells him about her breast cancer and how I think it should have went. Brazen. Was suppose to be a one shot but you guys pushed me on. Finished!
1. A disgustingly important call

This is a Jason POV fic. It runs through his thoughts on Emily's cancer and it starts in the park when she tells him. This fic kind of took over so its his feeling (yes he has them) and what I would have liked to see happed. I own nothing and I hope you like it. PLEASE review.

Just a phone call away

And then I blinked, like blinking would help me process what I'd been told. In a strange way it did and then the whole of what I had just processed hit me like a ton of bricks. No matter which way it was put or how nicely it was said the bottom line was and would always be that she might die. I gulped down tears that threatened to spill because I had to be strong for her, allowing her to be scared if she wanted. That's what I did. I vaguely heard any of what she said after that but I knew she was talking. 

"…And I really believe I can beat this thing, Jas." That when I fell back into the conversation and the smile on her face pulled one onto mine; I would smile for her. 

"I'll do anything I can, we'll beat this." Or something like that is what I reassured her with; along with my confident, I'm about to kill you so listen up, tone. Her eyes lit up and she hugged me; she believed that I was strong. She told me that she had to go fix things, and in the back of my mind I told myself that I had to go save my best friend but I didn't want to go, the pure fear that she could die made me what to stay with her till everything was over, but for her I stood to go. She was always my light, my right choice, my conscience and when I looked at her as we parted all I would see way the fiery angel she'd always been. People always said that I was uncaring, cold blooded but right then, as the cool July air whipped through my hair as I rode my motorcycle over the speed limit home, I felt dead. I knew that if she died so would I; I'd be a shell of who I was before her. I had a blinking problem when I finally, somehow, manage to get myself to Sonny and I heard nothing of what he was saying that I didn't know that I had interrupted him.

"My sister has cancer." He fell silent and moved closer, almost unsure of what I had said so I went on.

"Her birthmother died from breast cancer." He suddenly lost his air of boss and became my friend again because this went beyond everything and he knew.

"You stay here, I'll go." He was trying to keep me as close to my baby sister as he could because he knew that if she died and I wasn't with her I'd never forgive him or myself.

"I'm sorry man," and I knew he was because Sonny rarely says sorry, it not an overused word in his vocabulary, so when he did say it he meant it. I babbled on about the fact that there was nothing I could do, no one I could kill, or bribe, or take off the streets to fix this, and I couldn't save her from this and the powerless feeling was threatening to push me over. I needed to throw myself back into work, or anything, to take my mind off of Emily for a little while. The fact that Carly was still missing took over whatever part of me wasn't scared for my sister and I left Sonny, telling him that I was going to look for Carly again. I didn't know how long I'd been in that damn van, listening to that damn tape but I was happy to have at least made a small discovery as I rode the elevator back up to my floor. The first thing to hit my ears when the doors of the elevator slid open was my cell phone ringing. I knew it was mine because of the stupid ring Courtney had decided to put on for me as a surprise and if I had known how to remove it I would have. I reached into my jacked pocket, since that's where it always was, but it wasn't there and I turned my ear back to the direction of the ring; it was coming for Sonny's apartment. This sudden feeling of complete importance swept over me and I needed to get the cell, this call was disgustingly important. For a man who was wanted by good and bad people a like, Sonny had an awful habit of leaving his door unlock. My phone lay on the desk and I couldn't remember having left it there but that didn't stop me from quickly picking it up and flipping it open without reading the name.

"Yeah?" I managed to keep my cool collected voice as I waited for a replay.

"Are you okay, Jason?" Her voice was soft and worried. "Because I got this feeling and I had to call you." She continued and she made me smile.

"No, I'm not, okay." I surprised myself with that confession but she was different.

"What happened?" the worried in her voice rose a few steps, while the softness disappeared all together. 

"It's Emily, she had breast cancer." I gulped down that tears again because letting them free somehow made it all that much more real.

"Oh my God Jason," I knew she was ringing her hands together as she sucked in a deep breath. 

"I'm scared," I must have sounded like a five-year-old boy but I didn't care. I knew that this was totally out of character for me but like I said she was different, she was my only confidant.

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked because she truthfully cared and I wanted nothing more then to be selfish and ask her to come home. I didn't answer because I was afraid that I'd ask just that if I opened my mouth.

"Should I came home… I mean back?" I might have been dying on the inside but I heard her refer to Port Charles as home. There was a huge silence and I didn't know if she had hung up or not until I heard her trying to hold back tears.

"You okay?" my voice sounded as if I hadn't used it in a while when it had only been a moment or two.

"Don't worry about me." I knew that if the situation hadn't been what it was, she would have added 'I'll live' but she wasn't tacky.

"I took vows to worry about you, Barrett." I needed to fight with her so I baited her. I knew it was wrong but, like Emily, Brenda had this unlikely ability to make me feel alive.

"And then you singed them away." She laughed bitterly and I could hear the tears streak down her flawless face. 

"Hey, you didn't jump in there to stop me." My tone was becoming hard again; I was pulling away to prepare myself for a fight and not just any fight a fight with Brenda Barrett.

"You didn't look like you wanted to be stopped, Jason." Like that softness, the worry began to disappear from her voice, she was taking my bait.

"People can hide how the really feel, they can hide the truth, they can hide the pain, you should have looked deeper." I yelled at her and I knew that I wasn't talking about her and me and the stupid devoice papers; she knew too.

"God, Jas, I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do?" I hated that sentence because I knew that I'd be hearing it a lot soon, and I knew that no one would really mean it but mostly I hated that sentence because I knew that, no matter who asked it, no one could really do what I needed, no one could stop this and save her. Unfortunately, at that moment I wasn't thinking clearly.

"Can you save her, Brenda, can you guarantee she'll live, can you stop the cancer?" I yelled at her, yelled everything that I prayed for, everything that I wished for and all that I needed. Then there was silence again and I waited because if she didn't just hang up on me it would be a miracle. 

"I wish I could, I wish I could stop it all Jason. I wish I could save her and I wish I could guarantee that she'll live but mostly I wish I could make your pain stop because you don't deserve any of this." She didn't hang up on me and it lifted some of the hate that had just recently nestled itself in my heart, replaying it with hope and a little faith. The hate was replaced with hope and faith because she hadn't hung up what, like I had said, was a miracle and if I could have one maybe I could get another one or Emily could. 

"I miss your cookies," I told her after a time, making her laugh out loud and I found myself missing that laugh so much.

"Are you better?" she didn't mean totally and completely and I knew that.

"A bit." I told her.

"You should talk more Jason, about what you're feeling, it helps," But she didn't push it just suggested it. 

"I think we're doing really well with this divorce." She joked and I chuckled.

"Well at least we got something right." I never joked but she was different.

"Maybe if you hadn't been with another woman when we were together it could have worked," her voice was now full with fake tears and she broke off laughing at the end.

"I guess we'll never know, now will we." I played along because it was taking my mind off my sister.

"Never say never, Morgan." She told me seriously now and I nodded even though she couldn't see me.

"How'd you know? About me?" it was then that it struck me that what she had first said had been 'are you okay?' as if she'd known. I could hear the phone, that I knew was resting in between her ear and shoulder move up and down indicating that she had just shrugged her shoulders.

"I just did. Maybe because it's you." She told me and I was shocked to hear the love in her voice and to know that I returned that love. How had we ended up here from where we had started? Then I concluded that we had crossed that thin line between love and hate. I did love her, in my own special way, in a way that I'd never love someone else ever and I was happy to know that she loved me in her own way too. I knew that I had to let her go, I had my sister to take care of and be strong for and I had my best friend to find and I baby to help but I didn't want to stop taking to her. I didn't want to not hear her voice, it helped me think which was funny since it always seemed to annoy me when we were married. Somewhere along the way Brenda had become my rock and I had become hers and in that moment it finally hit me why; she was different.

"I should go," I told her finally with a sign.

"You probably should," I knew that she knew about Carly, Brenda always knew what was going on in Port Charles, even if it wasn't me telling her. 

"Bye then," I said, whipping the stray tear off my face, and I was shocked to notice that I'd been crying.

"Never bye, Jason, just I'll see you later," again she was serious and I knew that she wouldn't ever abandon me.

"Later then." I corrected myself.

"Yeah, later," and she caught me before I hung up. "And, Jason, if you ever need anything, to talk, or yell, I'm just a phone call away," and for the only time in her life she hung up on me first. I placed the phone in my jacked pocket, feeling better, feeling as if the world wasn't falling out from under me and all because of her, because she was different.

End

-Girlygirl 


	2. Hope and Faith in a phone call

I loved writing this story so much that I decided to make another part, I haven't done that with any other story so you guys are lucky. Anyway thanks for the review and if I get enough for this chapter I'll write another chapter. I own nothing and I hope you like it. Please review.

Just a phone call away

I really don't know how I tripped, I mean I've climbed these stairs day in and day out for the last four months, but somehow I did. I pain shot through my ankle, causing my to cry out, involuntary. 

"Ouch," my hands, thought, broke the rest of my fall and I decided against trying to move. Instead I let out a breath of defeat, at least for now, and rested my head against the marble of the next step. The rest allowed my mind to wonder, to think about all that I'd recently heard; Emily has breast cancer, his rock, his reason for living, his angel has cancer. No matter which way it was put or how nicely it was said the bottom line was and would always be that she might die. I gulped down tears that threatened to spill because I had to be strong for him, allowing him to be scared if he wanted.  I opened my mouth to call for Maria, my live in maid, when the phone rang. This sudden feeling of complete importance swept over me and I needed to get the cell, this call was disgustingly important. 

"Maria," my voice echoed through the huge Italian style house he had got me and I vaguely wondered why I had asked for a place with so much room. She didn't come, but I wasn't worried, like I said the house was big and Maria was old, her hearing was going. Usually I didn't mind, Maria was a saint but today, right now, with this feeling in my stomach I needed to get to the phone. It kept ringing and to my ears even the ringing sounded argent. I pushed myself up to stand but could make it up another step, not with the pain in my ankle so I upped for pulling myself up the remaining two stairs and dragging myself across the floor. Tiredly I grabbed the phone from its place on the small table in the hall and breathlessly answered.

"Hello?" I must have sounded as though I had just ran a race but his laugh eased my mind.

"Are you okay Brenda? Because I was sleeping and suddenly got this feeling that I had to call you." His voice was full of sleep and worry. I pictured Jason, clad only in his sweats, rubbing his eyes and trying to suppress a yawn and it made me feel like I was back in Port Charles.

"No, I'm not okay Jason." I told him; with Jason I had never had a problem telling him how I felt because he was different.

"What is it, what happened?" The worry in his voice shot through the roof but the sleepiness disappeared. I laughed; he always made me feel safe.

"I tripped up the stairs and twisted my ankle, I can't move it." I told him and the pain intensified making me hold back tears. 

"God, Brenda, where the hell is Maria?" he growled into my ear and I could almost hear him rubbing his hand down his face.

"Hush, Jas, that woman is a saint and she's old. I'll be fine." I told him in a motherly tone. Jason had always been a right here right now kind of guy.

"I lied, it hurts." I must have sounded like the spoiled brat model everyone pegged me to be but I didn't care because I knew that I really wasn't and so did he; because he was different. 

"You'll be fine, Brenda," I knew that he cared, even with the uncaring statement he'd just told me and I knew that if it hadn't been him he would have added 'for the spoiled princess you are' but he wasn't tacky. 

"You're probably right," I never once admitted he was right when we were married but over the phone with out having to look him in the face I could do it no problem.

"If you'd only knew that when we were married you'd still be with me…I mean in Port Charles." Sure the pain was shooting through my leg faster then adrenaline but I'd heard what he'd said, really said.

"Are you okay?" It didn't matter if he was dying, Jason would never want me back with him in that too small for the both of us penthouse; something must be really wrong. It was then that I remembered Emily and the cancer and mentally kicked myself for asking a stupid question. 

"Don't worry about me." He told me, and I thought that, maybe when he'd called me two days ago was the only time that he would ever open up completely. 

"I'm suppose to worry, it's what I do as your favorite ex-wife." I said quietly with a smile.

"Well that's not really fair seeing as you're my only ex-wife." He chuckled into the phone; he did have a point.

"Well with the way you marry you should have ten ex-wives by the end of the year." I told him, referring to our just about shotgun wedding. Truthfully I didn't want him to marry again, well, I didn't want him to marry and devoice because with being his ex-wife, his only ex-wife I had a part of Jason that I didn't need to compete for. I was bad with completion and deep down I needed a part of Jason because he was different. Not like everyone else I'd ever been with, sure I loved them and my time with them but when all was said and done I didn't NEED them.

"You said 'I do' too, Barrett." Like the sleepiness the worry began to disappear from his voice but not because he was getting ready for a fight, because he knew that I'd be fine.

"Yeah, but crazy people do crazy thing and at the time I was crazy." I laughed and he laughed and I was surprised that Sonny's guard didn't rush in to see what was happening; the hit man, Jason Morgan rarely laughed.

"At the time?" he asked sarcastically and I could almost head the tears running down his face from laughing.

"Well, legally crazy or diagnosed or whatever." Hey I was a model not a doctor.

"I don't know if I should ask…but…well…is she okay?" I asked slowly I didn't want to upset him.

"Who?" his voice was hardening on me and it hurt me to know that he felt he needed walls with me.

"Emily, Carly, both?" I missed Port Charles so much that every time I talked to him I had big urges to ask him to bring me home.

"I got a lead on Carly, or a hint, I'm going to find her soon I know it. And Emily's, well, fine, she's going to chemo and groups and doing all she can do…" he trailed off and I heard him chock back a snob. It felt like someone had ripped my heart apart and I gulped back air to keep the tears at bay. I wanted to cry for him and I wanted to help him but mostly I wanted to save his little sister.

"I can't lose her," his voice startled me and I wasn't sure which 'her' he meant. If he lost Carly he's kill Ric and never forgive himself but if he lost Emily he'd die. It was then that I felt a small tears streak down my face, I was crying for him and his pain because he was different.

"You won't lose her," I wanted to add 'I promise' because more then anything I wanted to promise but I couldn't because I had a thing with breaking promises and I couldn't guarantee that I could keep this one.

"Don't make promises," he had this thing about breaking promises too; he rarely broke them and had never broken one to me. Ever single promise he'd made me he'd keep and the only reason I could think of was because he was different then the others I'd been with. 

"It's not a promise, Jas, it's more like a judge of character," I still didn't know which 'her' I was talking about but with either I knew they'd pull through because like me they were both stubborn people.

"Thank you," I could hear him pacing as he brushed stray tears from his steel eyes.

"I still miss you cookies." He told me after a time and I laughed through tears.

"I still wish I could make all your pain stop." I told him as I sat there leaning against the wall with my bad ankle stretched out and my good one pulled up to my chest.

"If we had a physiatrist, they'd be really proud of us." I joked because our perfect divorce was our little joke.

"At least I know that I be paying for something." He was always the moneyman and he knew it.

"And we would have done something right," I added, because we had, we'd become friends, really close friends.

"Maybe if you hadn't been engaged to another guy when we were married, we wouldn't have been in counseling." He told me through fake tears and cut off laughing.

"Jerry Springer, here we come." I played along before adding. "Hon, could you pay for the plan ticket down there." 

"Ha ha, funny Brenda." I though it was and I knew he did too.

"Anyway where's Courtney?" I asked him and he fell silent and even with an ocean between us I could feel his hesitation.

"We had a fight, it was stupid but she's staying in the guest room." I heard his drop down onto the couch and I felt for him because he was different and he deserved all the happiness in the world.

"What about?" I asked.

"About you and Carly." My ears perked, Skipper talked about me, they fought about me.

"Courtney thinks I care too much about the two of you. She just doesn't get it." Now I understood, like him and Carly, Jason and I had a special relationship.

"She'll come round." That was a promise because if she let him go she was stupider them she looked. 

"Even if she doesn't, I don't mind. If Courtney can't see how much you and Carly mean to me I don't need her." He told me truthfully and I was touched. The love in his voice and the fact that he was put me on the same level as Carly shocked me. How had we ended up here from where we had started? Then I concluded that we had crossed that thin line between love and hate. I did love him, in my own special way; in a way that I'd never love someone else ever and I was happy to know that he loved me in his own way too. I knew that I had to let him go, I had my ankle to take care off and he had his sister to be strong for and a best friend to find but I didn't want to stop taking to him. I didn't want to not hear his voice, it made me feel safe and at home which was funny because I never thought I'd feel at home hearing him. Somewhere along the way Jason had become my rock and I had become his and in that moment it finally hit me why; he was different.

"I should probably let you go." I told him, he had a lot to do and I knew he didn't get much sleep.

"I should probably go." He backed me up but I could hear the slightest hesitation.

"Bye then, Jason." I told him, trying to end out conversation.

"Never bye, Brenda, just I'll see you later, remember." He told me seriously and I feel so warm knowing that he would never abandon me.

"Later then." I corrected myself like he had last we talked.

"Yeah later." He said before going to hang up, he had things to do but I caught him before he did.

"Hey, Jason, I miss you, I miss home." At the time I didn't realize that I had referred to Port Charles as home but he didn't make a big deal out of it.

"I miss you too Brenda and if you ever need anything, even just to talk, I'm just a phone call away." He told me and I laughed.

"Stop stealing my lines." I told him, having used that one on him last time too.

"Well, technically I own 50 percent of what you do." Oh my God, he made a joke.

"Did you just joke with me?" I asked him astonished, maybe thing were looking up.

"Yeah well I figured that I got one miracle recently, who to say I can't get another, or at least Emily can't?" it was the first I'd heard him talk about miracles or hope and it surprised me.

"Well every angel deserves a miracle so I think she had a good chance." I didn't expect him to say anything and he didn't. I waited till he hung up, wanting to hold on to him and Port Charles for as long as I could before calling for Maria again. I waited, as I heard Maria rush towards my voice and hurry up the stairs to help me, feeling better, feeling as if things were going to be all right and all because of him; because he was different.

-Girlygirl


	3. Disgustingly important miracles

Here is the last chapter in my little story. Thanks for all the review and please review my last chapter. I own nothing,

Just a phone call away 

I didn't know what to do with myself as I stood in the waiting area of Port Charles General Hospital praying to God that Carly was going to be okay, needing her to be.

"Jason, sit down." Courtney had been making me mad recently and at that moment I didn't want to hear her ordering me around. She reached out for my arm but I pulled back and didn't flinch at the hurt look in her eyes. I still couldn't believe what she had said about Carly not two days ago; she'd said that Carly was selfish and wanted both Sonny and me for herself. Then she finished with telling me that whatever was going on with me and Carly had to stop or she was gone. And I yelled because everything she had said was absurd and she had insulted Carly; Carly was my best friend. Sonny rushing into the hospital then and I ran to him, grabbing his arm before he could dash off to find his wife and mess something up.

"No, she's with Monica, they're checking her out." I told him and for the first time ordered him to do something. 

"Sit," and he did, placing his head in his hands and thanking God over and over again. I looked towards the door that I'd seen them take Carly into and again Courtney reached out to take my arm and tell me to sit down. 

"I have to get out of here, I need some air." I told Sonny more then her and I could see the tears settle at the bottom of her eyes; I ignored it and left before Sonny could question it. I ended up in the cafeteria, surprising myself for not having rushed to my bike and the open road to clear my head. It was empty save for a few people scattered here and there. Something pushed against my side and I reached into my jacket pocket to pull out my cell phone.

_"And, Jason, if you ever need anything, to talk, or yell, I'm just a phone call away,"  _Brenda's voice popped into my head and I remembered her offer. It had been almost a week since I'd gotten the feeling that she was hurt and had called her so I decided to take her up on her offer. I flipped open the phone and went to speed-dial her when it rang.

"Hello?" again I hadn't taken the time to read the name.

"Are you okay?" the worry in her voice made it seem so much like our first conversation.

"No." I told her plainly as I traced the tabletop with my finger.

"What happened?" her voice rose with the worry and I smiled; she always cared.

"Everything, Brenda, starting with Courtney and ending with Carly." I signed into the phone, telling her everything. She didn't care about Courtney but at the mention of Carly she couldn't help herself.

"What happened to Carly, is she okay?" I could hear the true fear in her voice and it made me love her that much more because she cared about Carly for me.

"I found her," I smiled because it had been me, not Sonny or a deal but me that had saved her. 

"I knew you would, Jason you always keep your promises." Brenda's voice was proud and I could only remember so many people being proud of me.

"So what's wrong then, hit man?" she asked me and I remembered the baby then.

"The baby, they don't know if the baby will be alright." I said and I hear her sharp in take of breath.

"God, no." she covered her mouth so it came out more like 'Godno' but I understood.

"I need you Brenda, come home." I admitted accidentally.

"Hey, Jason, can I ask you something?" she talked as if I hadn't said what I said.

"Sure." I answered shakily.

"Do you like Chocolate or Peanut butter cookies?" a small plate of about twenty cookies appeared in front of me and I looked up at the hand that was holding them to find Brenda standing in front of me. I dropped my phone and grabbed her in a strong hug. I tangled my fingers on her long dark hair and inhaled her scent. She had here, with me.

"Surprise." She said weakly in my ear as I had yet to let her go.

"How did you,… why?" I couldn't decide on what question to ask her first but she just laughed it off.

"I just knew that something was wrong so I came back." she told me and I knew that she had known because she was different. I looked at her standing there, clad in blue jeans and a black t-shirt, her hair falling simply around her face and I pair of black runners on her feet. I didn't know how much I really missed her till that moment.

"…I missed you so much." That where I fell back into the conversation and nodded at her.

"I missed you too." 

"So, was it Ric?" she looked at me with a look that said 'I never doubted you'.

"Yes, that bastard had her locked up in a panic room. She's stopped eating because she thought he'd let her out." There was anger in my eyes I could tell, but she didn't back away instead she last her fingers with mine and sat down beside me.

"Tell me what happened." I told her everything about everything, at times yelling at time whispering; she listened to everything because she was different.

"That son of a bitch." Was the first thing she uttered when I was done and it made me smile.

"What about Elizabeth?" she had never really known the Kelly's waitress but she knew of her and Elizabeth had never asked for any of this.

"I got her out before Ric could do anything, she's safe with her gran. I'm going to help her in anyway that I can." I told her, Elizabeth still held this place in my heart.

"With the divorce, you mean?" she asked me as she looked at the tabletop that I had been recently tracing.

"Yeah, well we know I'm good with those." I joked but something pulled at my heart.

"Elizabeth is lucky to have you as a friend." She looked up at me again and smiled.

"Speaking of lucky, how is Courtney?" she asked me and it felt good to be able to tell someone.

"She did not say that about Carly?!?!" Brenda was shocked at what I'd told her. "Not even I get to say things like that about Carly and I'm your favorite ex-wife." She told me with a smile. We sat there for a while saying nothing, out fingers still intertwined before I  spook.

"You called this you know. You told me she'd be fine." She waved me off.

"No, I called a judge of  character, Carly did the rest." I looked at her and wondered where the spoiled model had gone but then realized that thinking you were going to die changed people.

"You're staying for a while, right?" I couldn't conceal the worry and need in my voice. "Because I really need you right now." Again that was out of character but she was different.

"I'll stay for as long as you need me." She told me before touching the subject of Emily.

"How is she?" Emily was the reason she had called me about two weeks ago; or at least Emily's cancer was.

"Better, I owe Nikolas Cassadine a lot, he made her go to that support group and it helped her believe that she can fight this thing." I couldn't look up at her because all these thing were happening and I was on the verge of crying.

"She can, she's like her brother." Brenda whispered as she stroked my hair. I unconsciously lent into her touch and neither of us noticed Courtney watching us.

"Don't make promises." I reminded her because I couldn't take if it this one was broken.

"I'm not, I told you it's a judge of character." She reminded me as she continued stroking my hair.

"I can't lose her." She nodded at me.

"I know, you told me." She grabbed a cookie and bit it scattering crumbles all over the table; I followed her and did the same.

"These are really good." I told her threw a mouth full of chocolate chip cookie.

"So I've been told." She winked at me, not being able to count how many times I'd told her I loved her cookies or that I missed them.

"Yeah, he doesn't stop talking about them." Courtney walked up to us, her face screwed up with anger.

"Well at least he has good taste." Brenda bit at my soon to be wife and I shuddered at the thought.

"Well he is engaged to me." Courtney smirks at the brunette sitting beside me.

"Everyone's entitled to mistakes." Brenda shot back causing me to laugh. Courtney lunged at her but I pulled Brenda out of the way and grabbed Courtney.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked her.

"Did you hear what she said to me Jason?" Courtney yelled and I found myself wondering why I had ever wanted to be with her.

"Yeah I did, maybe she was right." I told Courtney as I watched her face register what I had said.

"No, I knew it, you two were together this whole time. You and your phone call that I can listen to. Or that you knew stop taking about her." Courtney pointed a finger at both of us in turn and I could see Brenda blush because Courtney thought we were 'together'.

"It's not like that Courtney.." Brenda started but Courtney cut her off. 

"No, you're a little slut that wants every guy in Port Charles. First Sonny then Jax and now Jason you little whore." Brenda looked a little hurt but I knew her too well to know that she wouldn't let Courtney win.

"That's enough, Courtney, say sorry." Courtney looked at me with her mouth hanging open.

"Dear, close your mouth you'll catch flies like that." Brenda hissed from beside me. 

"Now, Courtney." I repeated but she only closed her mouth.

"No," I hated her then, for some unknown reason I hated her, hated that she was rude to Carly and Brenda, hated that she couldn't trust me and hated that she hated Brenda. It was then that I remember what I had told Brenda when I'd called her, _"Even if she doesn't, I don't mind. If Courtney can't see how much you and Carly mean to me I don't need her."_ And I didn't need her, not like I needed my best friends, not like I needed Brenda. 

"Courtney, I don't need you." I must have sounded like a robot as I told the blonde when I was at the moment realizing and her eyes went wide.

"You don't mean that Jason." She pleaded but I locked her with a hard gaze.

"Yes I do. If you can't see how much Carly and Brenda mean to me I don't need you. It's over." She was about to speak when Johnny appeared at the door and panic welled up inside me. 

"Boss, it's Carly. She's asking for you." I let go the breath I didn't know I'd been holding; she was all right, she was save but what about the baby. Before I could ask Johnny was gone and I automatically reached for Brenda; she was my rock.

"She's strong." She rested her head on my shoulder and whispered in my ear. 

"Go, she needs you." She released my hand and pushed me towards the door but I grabbed her hand again.

"I need you, come with me." I begged like a little boy who was going to kindergarten for the first time and didn't want to go alone. The strong, cold, hit man, Jason Morgan image washed away and my walls fell but she was different. She smiled and nodded her head,

"Sure, come one." Her voice was soft and I could only imaged Courtney's face but I didn't look at her. Brenda led me towards Carly room because I knew and she knew that I wouldn't have been able to do it alone. We stood at the door for a moment before she turned the knob and pushed me forward. Carly lay in the bed, staring at the ceiling but looked when I called her name tenderly. A fresh batch of salty tears pour down her face and I dropped Brenda's hand to rush to Carly. I pulled her gently against my chest as I stroked her hair; she was real.

"Jason, I was so scared, I missed you so much." She didn't try to hold back tears and I let her cry.

"Carly, you did good. You stayed strong." I comforted her but really wanted to ask about the baby. She hiccupped and her tears stopped.

"How's…" I didn't have to finish the question because I looked at her stomach and she understood.

"He's fine, just like his daddy and his uncle Jason." She talked to her stomach in a motherly tone as if she was talking only to the little life inside her.

"Thank you, Jason." She placed my hand on her stomach and the baby kicked. I smiled.

"What for, I promised that I'd always take care of you." I kissed her forehead affectionately and she smiled up at me.

"Yeah, but you never gave up, you never stopped believing that it was Ric. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you." She told me and I couldn't argue with her because everything she'd said was true.

"Well, Brenda told me that you'd be fine, she said it was a judge of character and she was right. You stayed strong and fought Carly, not me." She looked at me with a questioning stare.

"Brenda was here, I saw her." I look up and noticed that Brenda was gone, slipped out when I was talking to Carly.

"Yeah, she came back, she said she knew that I needed her." I told Carly and promised to tell her everything when she got out of the hospital.

"Did you need her Jas, do you need her?" Carly asked me and I could see the wheels turning in her head.

"Why, what are you thinking Carly?" I asked her, I knew she better then she knew herself. 

"Do you need her?" she asked again and if she hadn't been in a hospital bed she would have scared me.

"Yeah, yes I need Brenda." I answered truthfully because like Brenda, Carly was different. My best friend smiled at me.

"What about Courtney?" she changed the subject quickly.

"It's over. She didn't understand you and me. Or me and Brenda." I told her as I placed my hand on her stomach again. "She though we were having a affair." I pointed to Carly and myself in turn and Carly's eyes widened.

"What? I mean yeah I love you Jason and I think you're a totally hottie but, been there done that." She told me with the same Carly spunk I'd always loved.

"I know but she called you selfish and said that you wanted Sonny and me to yourself. That's when I knew it was over." I told her as I gazed straight ahead.

"I'm not selfish." She pouted and it made me laugh.

"I know and Brenda even said that you weren't." I told her.

"So go find Brenda. Find her and tell her that you can't live with out her and let her see the real Jason that I see." I was shocked by what she had said but then found that it was true, when I needed someone I called Brenda not Courtney and I told Brenda things I would only tell Carly, not Courtney, I needed Brenda Barrett and even Carly could see it and she didn't really like Brenda.

"She already sees the real me; I tell her thing." I admitted and she whistled.

"How did I miss this, you're in love with Brenda." She sang to me and I clamped a hand lightly over her mouth.

"Not so loud, someone might hear you." I joked and she laughed.

"No, really Jason go find her before she leaves again." I stood and asked her if there was anything she needed which she replied 'Sonny' too and I promises to sent him in before I went looking for my ex-wife. I finally found Brenda standing on the balcony, in the pouring rain.

"I love the rain." She said before I made any noise; she'd known I was there because she was different.

"You'll catch a cold, Barrett, come in." I placed a hand on her arm but she didn't move.

"Here, then." I slipped off my leather jacket and handed to her. She took it and slid in on.

"Now, you'll catch a cold." She said tiredly with a yawn.

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me." 

"But I took vows to worry about you." She told me and I slid my hand around her.

"And then you signed them away." I laughed because we'd already had this conversation.

"I didn't want to." That was new, she'd never told me that before.

"Neither did I Barrett." I whispered but she heard me. Tonight was all about the truth.

"Then why did we?" she asked as she rested her head against my chest and I rested my head again her head. 

"Crazy people do crazy things when they're in love." I took the chance and told her. She turned to look at me.

"What?" she questioned me and I gulped before continuing; it was now or never.

"I love you Brenda. I loved you then, I just didn't know it, but I know now. I though that you wanted to be free so I let you go." I admitted and she smiled at me.

"I love you too." She wrapped her arms around my neck and I pulled her closer to me.

"I need you." I mumbled into her hair where my face was hidden.

"Well that's good, because I need you too." She laughed her Brenda Barrett laugh and it made me laugh.

"Can I asked you something?" I asked her as I pulled back and brushed pieces of wet brown hair out of her face.

"Sure." She said as she gazed in my steel blue eyes.

"I just got such a gross idea. You're going to hate this… Marry me." I smiled at her and she broke out laughing.

"No way in hell…" she joked but pressed her lips to mine anyway. The kiss was unexpected but accepted immediately and I wasted to time pulling her flush against me and deepened the kiss by tracing her lips with my tongue. She instantly allowed me entrance and soon my tongue was fighting with her. Unfortunately I had to pull away to breath and so did she. 

"So is that a yes?" I asked her breathlessly as I touch my forehead to hers.

"Like you have to ask," her eyes twinkled and I kissed her nose before hugging her.

 "All I have to say is if we can get married…again… Emily can sure as hell get her miracle." Brenda intertwined our fingers and I pulled her closer to me.

"So do you want a traditional wedding or Vegas here were come?" she elbowed me in the ribs lightly as she laughed at my joke.

"I was thinking more along the lines of something small, just you and me and Sonny and Carly and maybe Jax… oh and I was thinking the Quartermain's…" I groaned at the mention of my 'family'.

"Only the ones I like." I pleaded with her but she shook her head.

"No because you only like Lila and Emily, what about Monica and Alan and Edward and AJ…" I cut her off.

"Okay, Monica too then." She laughed.

"All or nothing, Morgan, and I won't settle for nothing." And that's how we were, all or nothing, because she was different.

End

-Girlygirl

And it's finished, this chapter isn't as good as the other two but it's still good and as you've read it's Brenda/Jason but Carly and Jason still have a strong close friendship because I love their friendship. As you all know I hate Courtney and her with Jason. I hope TPTB sees that Courtney and Jason make people want to set thing of fire (or just me) and break them up so that the real Jason can come back. 

P.S please review. 


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